Hello, dear readers! Today I’m going to talk about something that’s a little embarrassing to admit: I am unlucky in love.
You’d think that a romance writer would have it all figured out. And indeed, many of the authors on this blog have written about their successful, longstanding marriages. Many of our readers have been blessed the same way, as you can see if you read some of the comments we get. My hat’s off to everyone who’s made a success of marriage, because I know it isn’t always a bed of roses. Having a good relationship takes work.
I figure, though, that we might have some readers who, like me, are not married. Maybe you’ve lost a husband. Maybe you divorced one, or vice versa. Or maybe you never married at all.
I come from a long line of broken relationships. My paternal grandmother, who was born in 1900, got divorced when it was almost unheard of, and raised her six children alone. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My sister’s on her third marriage (and in her case, the third time really is a charm, fortunately).
As for me, I’ve been married twice and divorced twice. And don’t even ask me about all the men I’ve dated! I could tell you stories…
With that history, why on earth do I write romance novels? If you have a similarly challenging relationship history, why do you read them? Shouldn’t we choose another genre? Perhaps murder mysteries?
I write romance, specifically Christian romance, because I love taking characters who have challenging relationship histories and putting them together. If you read my novels, you’ll notice that almost all my heroes and heroines have some kind of failed romance behind them. Moreover, they are usually very resistant to love when it first nudges at them. And there are many obstacles to overcome before they can connect and commit and win their happily-ever-afters. So many obstacles that the only possible way to resolve them is with the help of God.
So in a weird way, I’m very qualified to write romances, because (a) I have a lot of romantic history, and (b) I know what it is to have loved and lost, and how challenging it can be to open oneself to love again.
In fact, for now, I’m focusing on my work and my pets and my teenage daughter. I’m taking to heart the apostle Paul’s advice: “To the unmarried and the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8) And guess what: I know all the bible verses about the virtues of staying single. My troubled heroes and heroines quote them often… right up until the time they’re swept into the perfect, God-sanctioned relationship.
What about you? Has your romantic history been trouble-free, or have you faced some challenges along the way? Leave a comment by midnight on Sunday 5/15, and I will gift one random commenter with a signed copy of my June Love Inspired novel, Small-Town Nanny. And if you want to read about a really convoluted, problematic love relationship, hop on over to my website. If you sign up for my newsletter, you’ll get a free short story that starts off the Sacred Bond series of Christian romances.