Some authors possess an amazing superpower. They can write their books in just one draft and barely need revisions. They pass the manuscript over to an editor who then makes some minor copy edits, and the book is ready for publication. It’s all so neat and civilised.
I am not one of those writers. My first drafts are ugly. So ugly that nobody is ever allowed to witness the atrocities I commit upon the written word.
By the time I start my first draft, I’ve already spent many weeks putting together a detailed outline. I have a picture in my head of what the story is going to look like. I know what I want to say and have sketched out a theme which I hope will strike a chord. My characters are real in my mind, and I imagine how the finished version will convey a message, strong yet subtly nuanced, with just the right balance of hope and pathos. The mental image is wonderful.
But the reality looks more like, in an attempt to create a sculpture, I’ve closed my eyes and attacked a block of wood with a chainsaw. The result is beyond rough and barely recognisable as art.
For a very long time, these ugly first drafts of mine kept me from finishing any project I would begin. I thought that, if I were a “real” writer, a novel would spring perfectly formed from my brain and onto the page. When it didn’t happen like that, I’d look at the two or three dodgy chapters I’d written and quickly give up. How could a novel ever come out of this heap of verbal dross?
And then I read a comment that changed my writing life.
I don’t remember who wrote it, but this was the gist of it: you wouldn’t look at a bowl of flour, butter, sugar, and eggs and berate it for being an awful cake. That’s because we all know these are just the raw materials. Measuring them out is only the first step in the creation of a delicious dessert. These ingredients still need to go through a process of mixing, baking, cooling, and frosting before they can be served as a gorgeous layer cake. I realised that this truth of baking is equally valid for novel writing. That’s when I had my first big breakthrough and was able to complete the first draft of a novel-length manuscript.
This truth extends beyond the kitchen and the word processor and into every other area of life, including our personal growth and development. We are all works in progress. If we are Christians, we are in the process of being sanctified. God is working within us to transform us by the renewing of our minds. We are growing and maturing, and this takes time, patience, and work. We are not to despise the day of small beginnings, but to keep working diligently, laying brick upon brick, and trusting the process and the hand of the Creator upon us.
I find that greatly encouraging now, while I’m in the throes of writing a first draft. I’m halfway through, and so far none of the chapters I’ve written say what I want them to. My phrasing is clumsy, my characters sound like robots, and I have only bare bones descriptions in place. I would shrivel in shame if anyone were to see this draft, but from past experience, I know that just because the first draft is rubbish doesn’t mean the book is doomed to be awful.
In the same way, our mistakes, false steps and missed chances don’t mean we’re destined to fail at life. Our journey, as writers, parents, Christians, human beings, is a marathon and not a sprint. A snapshot of this moment doesn’t tell all that much about where we’ll be in a year or five years. It’s all about the process and not the individual moment.
Have you had a hobby, a vocation, or an area of study that takes diligent application? Have you ever been tempted to quit because your first try didn’t turn out well? Let me know in the comments.
I hope you will have a wonderful Christmas season and be reminded over the coming weeks of God’s love, provision and grace.
Mary Preston says
I am actually not one to give up on something. I like to see things through.
Milla Holt says
That’s a wonderful personality trait!
Tabitha says
What a wonderful post! I love how you explored this topic.
Milla Holt says
Aw, thank you, Tabitha!
Glynis says
Oh, how I needed to hear this! I was just reciting that verse about small beginnings to myself just yesterday, so I know that reading this today was a definite God-thing :) I’ve written a few manuscripts, but never loved any of them enough to bother with editing. I”m praying that this will be this next year will be one of creating a product from start to finish. Thank you for those words. Merry Christmas!!
Milla Holt says
I’m SO glad to hear you’re encouraged, Glynis! Please do keep persevering. You’ll never know what a gem you have until you shape and polish it. May God grant you the inspiration and endurance you need to bring your work to fruition. Merry Christmas to you, too!
Alicia Haney says
Hi , I enjoyed reading your post, Thank you. Have a great week and stay safe.
Trudy says
So very true!!! We aren’t finished growing, learning, becoming more like Christ, until we go to be with Him!! We can’t see the “big picture” like He can. I can definitely look back (and it doesn’t have to be far!!) to see how He’s gotten me through! Merry Christmas!!
MaryAnn Diorio says
What a wonderful, inspiring post, Milla! I especially appreciated your comment that “it’s all about the process and not the individual moment.” So true!
I used to focus on the destination until the Holy Spirit showed me that I also needed to pay attention to the journey. It is on the journey that we discover who we are in Christ.
The temptation to quit assails all of us at one time or another. This temptation is an attack of Satan to derail us from our God-given purpose. When we are tempted, we draw on God’s grace and on the community of fellow believers who have been given to us to encourage us and to hold up our arms when we simply cannot.
I pray God’s continued blessings on you as you write the beautiful, powerful, and transformational stories of His heart.
Trixi says
There is one particular area in my life that I’m asking God for help on to change. I fail so many times in it that I often think I will never be better (or perfect) at it. It’s so frustrating! But…..I know God will help & I know that I will come out a better person because of it.
Kinda sounds like writing from what your post is about today. I get so upset with myself when I fall short in that one area in my life. I often kick myself for failing (once again) and don’t see any progress towards my goal. So, I’m also asking God to see through His eyes and try to pay attention to when I make even a baby step in the right direction. It’s all about those baby steps sometimes, isn’t it? I just have to keep taking those steps in the first place and not give up :-)
Milla Holt says
Thank you, Alicia. I hope you have a great week, too!
Milla Holt says
That’s a great point about how God can see the big picture. And not just in the present, but in the past, the future, and eternity, too. Merry Christmas to you, too!
Milla Holt says
Very wise words as usual, my dear friend. I especially appreciate your comment about the lessons we learn on the journey. I’m so grateful we get to walk together on this road. May God continue to bless you, too!
Milla Holt says
I hear you, Trixi. There is one area in particular which trips me up and has cost me so much. I need so much grace and to remind myself that God has promised to help me in my weakness. I’ll remember you in prayer even as I pray for myself today.
Natalya Lakhno says
Prayer can carry us through everything <3
Thank you for the post!
Debra J Pruss says
Merry Christmas. I started nursing school. I found out I was not all that good with biology and worse in chemistry. I wanted to go into nursing to help people. As I worked on a floor part time, I found out that the nurses were over worked with more patients than they could handle. The patients did not get the individual care that I wanted to be able to give them. I did not finish nursing school. I found myself working in a billing department as a customer service representative. I was able to help the clients as well as being an ear to listen to others. Thank you for sharing your process. God bless you.
Ausjenny says
I have been known to start things and not finish. Have a few projects still not finished. Its not so much that I don’t think it will be any good its more I am a procrastinator and start well but end not so well.
I am sure there are a few things I have started and quit either due to not feeling I could do it or because it was wrong for me.
I know I started a course doing sewing and designing and changing patterns etc but I did quit when it got further in and I knew it wasn’t right and doing it by correspondence it was getting to hard. I didn’t really want to design clothes etc. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I do regret paying for so much of the course and not getting all the books even though I had paid.
Milla Holt says
Amen, Natalya! Thank you.
Milla Holt says
Thanks for sharing, Debra. It’s great that God helped you find a way to still be a supportive and listening ear to people. God bless you, too!
Milla Holt says
Thanks for your comment, Jenny. Oh, the projects, hobbies, and courses I’ve started and not finished… I, too, have to struggle against procrastination and am more prone to leap into the shiny and new rather than follow through on what I’ve already started.
Shannon Taylor Vannatter says
My first drafts are stinky and poopy too, Milla. I give myself permission to write badly and fix it later.
Milla Holt says
Ha ha, glad to find a kindred spirit, Shannon!