I was talking to a gal recently about relationships and the different things that men and women want out of them. She was telling me that her husband wants her to fall asleep with him. That’s the height of romance to him. If he’s on the couch playing video games, and she curls up next to him and falls asleep – that’s his happy place.
Her statement reminded me of the first time I realized that I had more feelings for my husband (who wasn’t my husband yet) than I’d realized. We were out in the Arizona desert stargazing from the bed of his pickup truck. And I fell asleep. In the hard, ridged, metal bed of his pickup. When he woke me up (to tell me coyotes were coming and we needed to get into the cab and get to safety), I realized (after escaping into the cab) that I felt safe with him…and, being as how I wasn’t the type to let down my guard around people, made me realize I had some of those warm fuzzy feelings in my chest where my friend-of-many-years-but-not-even-a-boyfriend-yet was concerned.
Why does sleep matter?
Well, when you fall asleep in someone’s presence, you’re vulnerable. You’re truly vulnerable, but you’re also openly vulnerable. You don’t fall around someone unless you trust them. You trust them not to take pictures if you’re drooling, sure. But you also trust them to keep you safe, to protect you. And that’s kind of important. Men are protectors. It’s part of the way that God designed them.
Some men may protect the ones they love from wild coyotes. Other men, though, protect by making sure there’s always gas in the tank or by keeping the house tidy and picked up. Maybe they keep an eye on the weather so they can remind us when to wear a coat. Or they deal with the auto mechanic so that we don’t have to. (I have an amazing mechanic. Honest Christian guy. I’ll recommend him to anyone in Northern Virginia. I’ve had to deal with my share of mechanics in the past, though, who thought they could say – and charge me for – anything just because I was a woman. My hubby always dealt with those mechanics so I wouldn’t have to.)
The point is – men have different skills, different personalities, and different strengths. Regardless of how a man expresses it, though, his desire is generally to protect those he loves. So, when a woman falls asleep in the presence of a man? It’s code for, “I trust you to protect me. I know you’ve got my back.” It’s romantic – apparently even if there’s sleep drool involved.
What are some other unconventional things that scream romance to one sex but totally not to the other? Whether you’ve seen it in a book or in real life, I’d love to hear about it!
One commenter will be randomly selected to receive a $5 Amazon gift card. ^_^