Guest Post by Brynn Stewart
This is a serious question. Here at Inspy Romance, the blog is all about Christian romance, so this seems like the perfect place to discuss this topic.
I recently read a post online where someone was complaining because the Christian romance they were reading described the heroine as beautiful from the hero’s point of view. The reader objected to the fact that books seem to only portray characters as beautiful, slender, attractive people.
At first, I sort of chuckled. Because, let’s face it, we read romance to escape. No one who’s just finished working out to remove that annoying flab from *insert-your-problem-area(s)*, wants to sit down and read about a woman going through the same struggles. (Of course I don’t mean that about me—I never work out. 😉)
I mean, right? We want to imagine we are the beautiful woman with the hunky guy bringing us boxes of chocolate that we don’t have to even worry about because we have a metabolism that burns calories like a Camaro burns fuel. We can munch happily on chocolate-dipped caramels and stare—dreamily of course—into the hero’s gorgeous baby blues. He’s going to love us. Protect us. Maybe even be called on to give up his life for us. . . (Hmmm, does that remind you of the One who loves us more than we can ever comprehend?)
Then we reach the end of the book and must return to the land of realism where it’s time to make dinner, do the laundry, and, maybe, scrub the bathtub that’s threatening to develop into a science experiment. (Nah. The tub can wait. Science experiments are fun!)
These were my initial thoughts. But then I pondered a little more because I didn’t want to dismiss her concerns too swiftly. Spoiler alert: I never came around to agreeing with her complaint.
King David, in Psalm 101, set an example for us not to set anything worthless before our eyes. We are also instructed in Hebrews 13:5 to “be content with what you have.”
Let’s look at both verses very quickly.
Is Christian romance worthless?
What is the worth of a fiction novel? It is the lessons of truth that we take away from it. Even Jesus told a lot of stories. Why? Because people can relate to story and when we relate to something, we more easily learn from it. I think that Christian fiction can have a strong impact for the good on the lives of those who read it because of the messages of truth contained in each story.
Does Christian romance cause us to be discontent?
The only person who can answer that, is each individual person for themselves. There is nothing wrong with relaxing with a good book. BUT. . . If reading romance novels is making you discontent with the husband/family/situation that God blessed you with, then it needs to be pitched from your life right quick.
Maybe the woman from the opening paragraph was feeling a little of this. Maybe the book she read made her feel discontented with her own looks. Maybe she just isn’t reading the right Christian romance books, because I know a lot of books that are about flawed less-than-perfectly-beautiful characters.
Some might argue that every Christian book that doesn’t portray the characters with all their flaws is not representing the truth.
That assertion leads me to this. I know I’m not the most beautiful person. I’m a little bit chubby. I don’t like to wear makeup. I most often lounge around in jeans and a t-shirt. But my hubby still thinks I’m beautiful. Why? Because he loves me. And, in books, most of the descriptions of the heroes and heroines are shown from the love interest’s point of view, so of course they are going to find them attractive.
Last thought. The Bible often describes God’s love for us as that of a husband for a wife. Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” And Isaiah 62:5, reads in part, “. . .as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.”
When God looks at a repentant person, He doesn’t disdain them for their sins any more than my husband disdains me for being slightly chubby! Instead, God sees the truly pure, truly cleansing blood of His son Jesus, who lived the perfect life none of us could manage. So then, when stories portray a hero viewing a heroine with rose-colored-glasses, and vice versa, they give the world a picture of how God loves us.
Okay, that’s enough from chubby me. (There I finally got it out without a softening modifier.)
What are your thoughts on this question?
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Valerie Comer is a USA Today bestselling author and a two-time Word Award winner who writes where food meets faith and fiction. She injects experience laced with humor into her green clean romances. Her life on a small farm in western Canada provides the seed for stories of contemporary inspirational romance. Like many of her characters, Valerie and her family grow much of their own food and are active in the local foods movement as well as their church. She only hopes her creations enjoy their happily-ever-afters as much as she does hers, shared with her husband, adult kids, and adorable granddaughters.
“when stories portray a hero viewing a heroine with rose-colored-glasses, and vice versa, they give the world a picture of how God loves us.“
I quite agree but then the heroine/hero must not be too perfect so that rose coloured spectacles need to be worn!
I get particularly frustrated when all the women have long blonde hair and the men are muscular hunks- yes, I read to ‘escape’ but this is the real world and it’s nice to think that maybe the romance that I am reading could happen to me.
Great article. Good Christian romance is about so much more than the couple’s looks or the “swoony” moments. There are often deeper lessons to be learned and a good deal of personal growth. All wrapped up in a great story that glorifies God and builds up our faith. Yes, there are books that might fit the cliche, but it’s not fair to judge an entire genre by only the bad examples.
Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course our heroes and heroines need to see their love interst as beautiful/attractive! Beautiful from the inside out. The CCR’s that I read don’t go overboard on physical beauty. However they always give good spiritual truth and insight, which is why I read them!! So much more satisfying than a clean Hallmark movie with no substance!! (Now there you could also complain about beautiful and hunky characters!!)
Welcome to Inspy Romance Brynn! First thought is what Margaret says: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so in my reading I prefer more authentic characters – in looks, how they talk, dress, and definitely their actions. I also agree with Jeannette, hair styles are reflected by the decade – now most gals have straight long hair. But this retiree has thin hair and I have never been able to grow my hair past my shoulders – I grew my hair in 4. grade and then in college. I have had either a bob or pixie type hair style most of my life. While authors tend to be more creative with guys’ appearance – long vs. short hair, clean shaven vs. five o’clock shadow or short beard, not always so sure about the gals. Best wishes. Happy Holidays.
I, too, read for fun and escape. Having gorgeous folks in the stories is fine. But not-gorgeous is fine, too. It’s the storyline that I follow, not the appearance of the characters.
I agree we read to escape. But we also read to give us hope. Hope that someone can like us as we are. I too get tired of 20 something characters that the girls are perfect and the guys are hunky perfect. That’s not the real world. We all have flaws and not every couple is in their twenties. It’s nice to read books about real people with real issues that are loved for who they are and not for how they look.
I read for enjoyment, and don’t look to books to compare myself to the people in them. I have read books that have overweight women in them, and they’re fine with their self image. I’ve read books where no matter how slim, the female character is not fine with her self image, until she sees herself as God sees her. I think it depends on the person reading the book, and as you said, if the person reading is comparing her life to the life of the characters in the book, the problem isn’t the book, it’s the person reading the book. If you want to compare your life to a book, you really need to open your Bible and find out how God sees you and how and who He wants you to be. The outside is just the wrapper, it’s the inside that truly counts.
If all the books I read had perfectly beautiful characters then it would probably bother me, but that’s not the case. Most of the books I read have flawed characters so I’m fine with the occasional “beauty queen.”
I agree with you on all points. I was even thinking that even when I look in the mirror and see my flaws my husbands sees beauty. Love does that.
I have read some Christian romances in which the emphasis on physical beauty gets old really fast. My favorites are the ones in which the inner beauty of the characters is emphasized, or in which the characters may be attracted to each other first by outer beauty, but come to love each other because of who the person is, not how they look.
I agree with your take on this too, Valerie. I think people who we may not initially look at as attractive can become attractive to us when we develop feelings for them, so it makes sense that most all characters would be considered attractive by their love interest. I also think that just because someone’s beautiful on the outside does not mean they are truly beautiful, there’s a lot of ugly hearts hidden by outside beauty.
Reading is an escape and I think it would lose its magic and wonder if we start trying to appease every single person that chooses to see something wrong with the story. I don’t see having a beautiful character as glossing over anything either, every person can find bits of themselves in different characters no matter how they look physically.
I think the problem is not the beauty itself or the physical attraction between the characters (this is normal) but when the beauty is always of only one type: male hero, square jaw, broad shoulders, thin heroine, with thick hair that does not You have stretch marks, cellulite, or belly fat.
I think that if as Christians we say that we should love each other because God loves us and each one is beautiful in their own way, Christian fiction and especially romance should reflect that because everyone deserves to find love and beauty is subjective!
I have never liked when people despise romance or insist that “it is harmful” everyone has their struggles and I accept it, maybe for someone romance is bad. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing in general (like porn or other types of secular romance).
I remember reading an article by a Christian romance writer who said very frankly that if as a woman it makes you uncomfortable to read books about couples who love and love God and treat each other with love and respect and as a husband you think that reading books where the man treats to the woman with respect, consideration and affection is harmful so… that couple has some things to think about because that is not Christian piety.
And I had never really thought that the vision of the lover is like the beautiful vision that God has of us.
But it’s a good point … sometimes a woman sees herself as “short and plain” but her husband sees her as “small and adorable” after all, would anyone want to read a romance book where the hero thinks of the heroine “oh she is not very pretty, she has fat, she is not in her weight and she has acne but despite being ugly I love her because she is a pious woman?” We would think that this man is an idiot and that she deserves someone capable of seeing her beautiful as she is.
I think it is a real problem when physique matters so much that it seems that if the boy was not “hot” and she was “beautiful” then they would not love each other. I personally want to believe that both characters would still love each other even if one of them suffers an accident or illness.
If I’m being completely honest here, then my biggest pet peeve is when a CF book describes a hero or heroine as “hot” because it just demeans that character in my mind. I’ve read a few books like this and it makes me just want to put it down & not finish it. Should the H/H be attracted to each other, yes….but there are better words and more respectful ways to describe that. And attraction is SO MUCH more than physical. Frankly, I want to see the H/H described like real people because not everyone has the physical attraction that romance books oftentimes describe. Long flowing blond hair? Overdone. Beautiful sky-blue eyes? Overrated. Six feet of rippling muscles? Much too much. Let’s face it, we know very few people like that in real life.
Give me an H/H that is maybe a bit more “plain” but has a beautiful heart that loves both God & people. Who shows attractiveness through serving Christ, the church & their families. Now I’m not knocking physical attraction, because we do need to be attracted to the person we’re dating or married to in some way, shape or form. And there are some people who are truly beautiful inside & out. But what I’m talking about is the kind of attraction that some writers exaggerate to the point of ridiculousness or are always pointing out the physical beauty of their characters instead of what makes them tick. Those kind of overdone descriptions are a turn-off for me.
Maybe some people say that readers don’t care for “perfect” physical characters because they are jealous that they don’t look like that themselves. Which in my case is SO not true, and probably true of most of us readers. Yes, I read to escape into a made-up world….but I also don’t want to read a book that makes me compare the hero to my husband and find him lacking.
I think more & more CF writers are making their characters more realistic physically. And I adore that as a reader!
Hi , to me beauty is what is in a persons heart, a person can be so beautiful, but if their heart isn’t beautiful, then to me that person is not beautiful . A person shows their beauty by their actions and not just by their words, we must show people we love them by our actions and not just by what we say . Anybody can say they love you, but if they don’t show it by their actions then that doesn’t work for me. Words are cheap. I love reading books with HEA’s. Have a great weekend and stay safe.
Hi Jennette, I get that! I do.
Good thoughts! Yes! I love a good Christian romance. <3
True on the Hallmark movies. :) Thanks for chiming in!
Thanks, Renate. Merry Christmas to you too!
Yes, the story is the most important. <3 All the best,
You’ll love one of the stories in this boxed set then about a mature couple. Check out Prairie Rose by Sylvia Stewart in this boxed set.
We agree 100%. All the best and merry Christmas!
Yes. It’s wonderful to be loved well. Ultimately, the only one who loves us perfectly is our Maker. <3 Merry Christmas, Kimberly.
As it should be. <3
Good thoughts! Thanks for stopping by. <3
Good stuff in this comment. I agree with you. I also write historical romance under my real name, Lynnette Bonner, and I have a story coming up where the hero is wounded in war and it’s about how the heroine refuses to let him push her away just because he’s no longer perfect.
Good thoughts here. I think that resorting to the physical descriptions is the easy route as an author. It’s important to give a glimpse of what the character looks like, but the harder part is to convey the HEART of the character. That takes work to delve inside and find out who that character is. Thanks for chiming in!
I agree with all you said. Thanks for chiming in. Merry Christmas!
Completely agree. I loved how you phrased it because that’s what I thought too when I saw that post: “And, in books, most of the descriptions of the heroes and heroines are shown from the love interest’s point of view, so of course they are going to find them attractive.”
Also, loved the picture of that’s how God sees us and loves us. :)
We are all flawed – so are the characters. I prefer them to be beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. Doesn’t really matter how they look on the outside :)
Have a blessed Christmas!
<3 Merry Christmas!
You too!
I’ve read several Christian fiction romance novels that featured heroines who were not svelte (and usually struggled with their self-image) but were loved by men who found them beautiful. Someone who truly loves you will find you beautiful. Beauty is more than physical appearance.
Exactly! Thanks for chiming in!
I can see it both ways. There are many handsome gentlemen who fall in love with someone who maybe on the chunkier side. They fall in love with the person. Not their physical appearance. I remember growing up being told that beauty is only skin deep. What beauty someone may have in their 20s may not be the same in their 50s. Maybe that is what the person was trying to convey. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Yep. All the best and Merry Christmas!
I love these books. I see all sides depending on the story
I enjoy these stories. I find the men to be the romantic & handsome type
Hi, Brynn! I so agree with you about the overdone physical attractiveness. As a writer, I think that is taking the easy (in fact, lazy) way out. As a man, I get a little frustrated that I will never identify with the heroes with the superhero physique. Show me somebody with a ready laugh, who is smart as a whip and who is passionately committed to his beloved. Now we’re talking. Same for the ladies. Show me someone who is not afraid to be the best at what she loves, is also not afraid to be fiercely intelligent and who has a desire to nurture. Those are some beautiful people.
I remember hearing Chuck Swindoll comment once that, when he started pastoring a church early in his career, many of the women of the church struck him as plain, not very beautiful. After he got to know them, though, and saw their love for the Lord and for their families, they took on a real beauty in his eyes. It was not their looks that had changed, it was his vision.
I like attractive characters with flawed personalities. That way the fantasy looks are there, the heroine who stays skinny no matter what she eats and never ever works out, but she has issues, so that makes her real.