Till I loved I never lived—enough.
Emily Dickinson
I’ll admit I’ve thumbed through a few secular romance books in my time, at least enough to know the basic formula. It seems as though I make a confession of sorts in every one of my blog posts here on InspyRomance. Well, here’s this month’s confession: on a whim, I downloaded a bestselling romance novel from a topselling author when it was free recently just to see what all the fuss was about and skimmed it. Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not do this on a regular basis, but my curiosity simply got the better of me. I’m human. Quite frankly, after I’d skimmed scenes where the couple had relations in just about every area of the house, and barn, and outside (everywhere but the roof, it seemed), I was actually bored (don’t readers get tired of this over and over again?) and promptly deleted it from my Kindle. Character development took a backseat to . . . you know. Yet this book is from a wildly popular secular romance author who makes millions of dollars. The one redeeming value: it had the requisite happily ever after ending where at least the couple married. Ahem. I’ll stick to my sweet Christian romances, thank you very much, and hold my head high. Shaking it off . . . . and lesson learned!
I’ve had people, both male and female, ask me if I write the so-called “bodice rippers.” In many cases when that question is asked, there’s a basic lack of understanding of what actually makes a romance “Christian.” Mind you, I started writing this blog post not to differentiate what makes a Christian romance different from its secular counterparts, although there should most definitely be a difference in content and focus. But, you know what? The more I got to writing. . .and thinking. . .the more I realized it’s those very same qualities that make a Christian romance truly romantic that make them different, and set them apart, from secular romances. So, here’s my list, and I’d love to hear from you—readers and authors alike—as to what should make our Christian romances stand apart:
*Prayer, missions, an acknowledgment of the existence of God, a spiritual and/or emotional awakening in one or more characters. This aspect is either strong or subtle in most Christian romances. I could write an entire blog post on this topic, but that’s for another day. When it comes right down to it, it’s a personal preference on the part of both the reader and the author. Here’s my contention: After we search our souls and find that inner peace within ourselves through a relationship with Christ, we are truly free–wholly and completely–to love another in a romantic way.
*A lack of sex or overly sensual scenes. In that basic “formula” I mentioned above, the secular romances feature a sex scene approximately every 10-15 pages like clockwork. Think about it. A Christian romance author has to work a lot harder and craft a pretty interesting story to keep a reader turning the pages without using the crutch of a sex scene. Christian authors strive to present a God-honoring relationship. That’s not to say a romantic relationship between two Christians doesn’t have desire and temptation because it certainly does. How desire and sexual temptation is honestly acknowledged and handled is one of the most powerful aspects of a Christian romance. We’re all sinners and none are perfect but the Lord Jesus. If Christian characters do fall to sexual temptation, however, the way in which it’s handled and the resulting consequences can be a very strong representation of God’s love, grace and His forgiveness. Those familiar with my books will know I’ve written both scenarios. They reflect “real life” circumstances that happen in many relationships.
Let me give you an example from Prelude, my most recent release and the prequel in The Lewis Legacy Series (the love story of the parents of the core character in the series). I’m highlighting the section at the end which proves my point:
Moving his hands to her face, Sam caressed Sarah’s cheeks with his thumbs, drinking in her features, memorizing them, knowing he’d carry her in his heart forever. “You are the only woman I want to hold in my arms until eternity comes in view.”
“Captain,” she whispered, lifting her lips to his. “The things you say. Kiss me again, please.”
“It’s my great honor.”
Loving the gleam in her eyes, Sam lowered his head. As he settled into the kiss, he knew something else. He’d be walking her home very soon. He was only a man, after all, and so very human.
*A lack of obscenities and offensive language. Even the sweetest of secular romances sometimes have at least one or more four-letter curse words or at least a pretty clear imitation of that same word. One of the things I despise both in movies and books is the presence of both sex and language. For most moviegoers and readers, they are commonplace in their everyday lives, and so. . .there they are. Simply put, I personally cannot admire a man who swears. Sure, there are some gray areas/circumstances when a man is severely provoked and even the strongest man might utter a curse word. That’s where the humanity factor comes into play again. My point? I don’t need the actual word spelled out. If the writer is skilled, I will feel the character’s pain, anguish, or disillusionment. Mind you, I’m fully aware even Christian authors have varying opinions on this topic, just as they do about the level of sensuality, drinking, and several other topics in the books they write, but that’s where the personal preference comes into play. I’m certainly not here to pass judgment but to present my own opinions and to let you know what to expect when you read one of my books.
Finally, let’s discuss the actual “romance” part. Are all men romantic? Of course not. But, let’s be honest. As readers, do we crave reading about a man who doesn’t take care of himself and/or doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body? Of course not! I don’t mind a grumpy hero. Matter of fact, I sometimes like them grumpy and irritable because that makes the times when they’re sweet and thoughtful all the more special.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite scenes in Prelude, a moment when Sam is more than irritated and at his grumpy best (he also makes a selfless sacrifice for Sarah, which I find extremely hero-worthy, not to mention he gives her a pretty great foot massage–as I mentioned above, making a scene like the one above that much more rewarding). But the following scene was so much fun for me to write (almost as much as the romantic scenes):
“At least I’m not afraid to try new things.” Sam’s gaze traveled down to her feet. “And I don’t wear rubber-soled shoes intended for senior citizens.”
Okay, that comment pushed her to the brink. Seemed when the man’s feelings were hurt, Sam shot back with biting comments. Inside, Sarah seethed. “Why not go ahead and insult my hairnet and get that out of your system, too? Have at it. I’ll have you know these shoes are a necessity since I’m on my feet for hours every day here at Perry’s.”
“I know that.”
Tossing the rag on the table, she lowered one hand to her hip. “You try working eight hours on your feet. Wiping up spit and snot, serving sometimes surly and rude customers, and then keeping a smile pasted on your face and calling out ‘Thank you for your patronage’ when someone walks out the door without leaving a tip.”
Sarah bit her lower lip. That last part was uncalled for since Sam had singlehandedly given her nearly a hundred dollars in extra tips in the last couple of weeks alone. Ridiculous amounts, really, but she’d given up trying to return any of it. She’d tried at first, but he’d adamantly refused. Before she burst out and said something they’d both regret—or weep in his presence—one of them needed to leave. Considering she was in her place of work, Sam had to go.
“You should leave.”
“I agree.” He pulled at his silly collar named after miniature orange slices in a can and stalked toward the door. Pausing, he spun around. “Look, I know you do a great job here at Perry’s, and I’m sorry if some of your customers don’t appreciate you. But you’re one of the most stubborn women I’ve ever known.”
Sarah swallowed the huge lump in her throat. “Have a wonderful evening.”
Sam tugged on the handle of the door, sending the bell jingling and making her want to yank off that bell. “Same to you.” He lifted his head to the ceiling and closed his eyes—sure looked like he was counting under his breath—before walking back over to her with his purposeful stride. “You could stop me with one little word, Sarah. One. Word.” Fire sparked in his blue eyes and the muscles in his jaws visibly tightened.
“I’ll give you five. Thank you for your patronage.” She didn’t flinch although his gaze bore straight into her soul.
Leave a comment and you could win an eBook copy of Prelude: The Prequel to The Lewis Legacy Series.
Until His Nets Are Full,
JoAnn
Matthew 5:16
USA Today bestselling author JoAnn Durgin is the author of over twenty novels since her debut, Awakening (Lewis Legacy Book 1), released in late 2010. Her books include the beloved Lewis Legacy Series, as well as its prequel, Prelude. She is also the author of Catching Serenity, Heart's Design, and Gentle Like the Rain, a sequel to Heart's Design. Other novels include Echoes of Edinburgh, The Wondrous Love Series, Perchance to Dream, and the popular Starlight Christmas Series. Her latest release is The Christmas Challenge and coming up next is Pursuit, the highly anticipated Book 8 in The Lewis Legacy Series. JoAnn lives with her family in her native southern Indiana and now enjoys writing full-time and spending time with her first granddaughter, Amelia Grace. Sharing the hope and joy to be found in a relationship with Christ is her passion, and JoAnn adores writing and reading Christian romance. She loves to hear from her readers via her website or her Author JoAnn Durgin page on FB!
JoAnn, as you know, I admire and applaud your stand. I appreciate the effort you put into making your books both entertaining and God-honoring st the same time.
I love that I don’t have to worry about what I will read when I read a Christian romance!!
Now that’s the kind of romance I truly enjoy reading… It’s real.. Please keep writing this wonderful kind of Christian romance, there are many who prefer it…. God Bless ! ! dkstevensne AT outlook DoTCoM
Thank you, Beverly. I can’t imagine writing anything other than Christian fiction. I appreciate your comment and your readership. Blessings to you in this New Year, and happy reading. :)
Hi Linda! Good to hear from you and hope you’re doing well in this New Year. I’ve enjoyed seeing the photos of your new granddaughter. She’s precious! I agree that it’s great to know there are Christian romances in the marketplace that uplift godly principles. Blessings and thanks for your comment!
Hi Dee, and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I’m certainly thankful there are those who prefer Christian romance! Happy New Year, and may you enjoy many wonderful books in this New Year! :)
I am SO glad that there are Christian romances to read, or I wouldn’t read! I never thought about how authors of Christian romance have to write a more crafted story and not just rely on the sex scenes. I like seeing the real romance.
What you said is why I love Christian fiction. I love being able to read a book without worrying about coming across a lot of sex scenes and profanity.
I hunted Christian books because I was tied of the sex scenes and the cursing in the books I had been reading. I wanted something I could read and not wince at the words or images brought to mind. I had given up romance books a long time ago. I had decided to not read romances. I got into the Christian books and found romance again. I probably will not find my one and only as I think I am better off single but to see what could be possible is heartening. Thanks for your consideration of your readers and the harder work of crafting a Christian romance. It shows you are a better writer than those other people.
I know exactly what you mean and I couldn’t agree more! Someone gave me some romances like that a few years ago and I read them (well, I read most of them… had to skip over some parts). I’m not ashamed to admit that they left me longing for a really good Christian romance– much more satisfying!
Prelude looks like a very interesting and enjoyable book! I hope I get the chance to read it sometime. :)
Thanks for the chance!
Thanks to “Love bring us home” book set I have discovered new christian authors and I’m really glad I bought it. I have been reading christian fictions only for about 2 years. I didn’t even know it exists before ! It’s such a blessing to me. Those well written, heartwarming , romantic, god honoring stories aren’t just romances to me. I can say it helps me to grow in my relationship to my husband and to God. You do a great job ! What sounds funny to me about what you wrote above JoAnn is that from all the author, I’ve read until now, I feel that your way to express feelings, emotions and the way you evoke physical love is one of the more “sensual” without being “dirty” of course. It’s to be an artist and a great work to be able to captive readers and arise feelings and emotions like you do through your writing without using easy ways like sex at every 10 pages ! Can’t wait to read Prelude ! God bless you
Great thoughts, JoAnn! I especially like your first point. In Christian romances, the relationship isn’t build on lust but on who each person actually is. When you’ve both got Christ as a foundation, you’re off to a great start.
Becky, thanks so much for your support and encouragement of Christian fiction and its authors. We couldn’t do it without readers like you waiting to read our stories. I’m with you…bring on the REAL romance. :-) Blessings to you in this New Year.
Hi, Susan, and thanks for your comment. I’m so glad you stopped by InspyRomance today! Yes, there’s nothing I detest more than a good story being ruined by unnecessary scenes or language. Blessings to you in the New Year, and happy reading!
Hi there, and thanks so much for your comment! I believe you won one of my Christmas books through an InspyRomance raffle. :) The Lord calls some of us to be single, yes, but I think most women can enjoy a good, God-honoring Christian romance. I’m not sure if I’m a better writer than most, but I do strive to present the best story I possibly can for readers to enjoy. Blessings to you in this New Year, and happy reading!
Hi Aerykah (what an interesting name, and I’d love to know its origin and meaning!). I’ve found that even some of the Christian romances I was reading didn’t have the level of romance I personally like. Sure, they had romance, but there was a conflict that kept the couple apart for most of the book. My books are different in that I like them to get together early on. Sure, there might be a conflict or a bumpy road, but how a couple works together on their relationship is a true test of their long-term compatibility. Bring on the TRUE romance! Thanks so much for stopping by InspyRomance today, and happy reading!
Hi Jamie, and thanks for stopping by InspyRomance today and leaving a comment! Blessings to you in the New Year. :)
Hi Muriel (all the way in France!), and thanks so much for stopping by InspyRomance today and leaving your wonderful comment! Actually, you’ve read the two books in my series that are perhaps more sensual than the others, although all my books in the Lewis Legacy Series (and Catching Serenity, as well) portray the element of temptation and adherence to godly principles (although after a couple falls into temptation in one or more of the coming books). I appreciate your very kind words, and blessings (and happy reading!) to you in the New Year.
Hi, Sally, and thanks for your comment. You’re so right…a firm foundation solidly rooted in Christ is the ideal. Doesn’t always happen that way, as we know, but I love how, as authors, we can write about different types of scenarios and how the Lord works in the hearts and minds to bring individuals to Him and bring about a beautiful relationship. :)
Thank you, JoAnn! :) Aerykah isn’t my real name, only the name I use online. I once met a little boy named Aeryk. I prefer the spelling Erik for a boy (it’s one of my favorite names), but I decided to change this variation a bit and make it into a girl’s name for my own personal use. ;) As for the meaning, I claim one of these meanings for Erica: “honorable ruler” or “forever strong”.
I love it! Thanks for responding. Maybe because I’m a writer, I’m always interested in different names. Fascinating! :)
Lovely post JoAnn, and so true. I too recently downloaded and read a secular romance from a big name author, and oh my, what a disappointment. It was soooooo unromantic! The author missed such a wonderful opportunity to allow the couple to take things slowly and let the relationship grow and deepen. Instead it was sex sex sex. It reconfirmed for me why I prefer to both read and write only Christian romance! God is at the centre of everything, and my couples can’t be right with each other until they are first right with God.
Hi JoAnn, Certainly a romantic relationship should be built with the Jesus Christ as the Center of that relationship. In addition to that; it is essential that there be mutual respect for each other and also a real attraction to the other as well. They need to have a great friendship which will be there when the relationship meet with life’s hardships too, I. It is quite important that they be able to work/play/pray/communicate well. Communication is key to any marriage! It takes many elements to have a great marriage. And of course, it takes work on both sides.
You write extremely good romances JoAnn! Your heroes and heroines have great chemistry and those key elements, too. When it comes to romance; you’re at the top of your game!
I loved what you wrote and wanted to let you know. I agree with you on reading choice. I did not know how easy it had become to overlook and skip over parts I did not like in books until I started reading Christian books. I like some better than others but they all have the same basic platform of being clean and faith-centered. My authors and my interest have changed and I enjoy reading more now. Keep up the good work. God bless you in 2015.
Yay! Someone else who doesn’t like bad language or sex scenes in books or movies. Drives me crazy. There are such sweeter ways of telling a romantic story than baring skin and spitting curse words.
Congrats on another book release, JoAnn! So happy for you.
Andrea
andrearenee2004@yahoo.com
JoAnn, well said. I understand that readers have preferences regarding sensuality levels in books, but I don’t get why so many general market r
I’ll try again, and not accidentally hit enter too soon! I don’t get why so many general market romances contain a large amount of bad language. I’ve read reviews where romance readers have complained about a lack of (or not enough) sex scenes, but I’m yet to see the reviews complaining about a lack of bad language.
Exactly, Autumn! Sometimes I think it’s actually good for us to see what’s “out there” in the world just so it can affirm that we’re on the right track with our solid Christian romances. You’re completely right…”God is at the centre of everything, and my couples can’t be right with each other until they are first right with God.” AMEN, sister! Keep writing your God-affirming books, and I will, too! Blessings, Autumn. :)
Thank you so much for stopping by and adding your wonderful input, Faith. I could write so many blogs about what makes a Christ-based relationship and marriage work, and you’ve hit upon some very key points. Communication is indeed the key. I think you’d really like Prelude since the romance builds slowly, grows and stretches over time into something I think is quite beautiful. I’m not biased now, am I? :) Thanks, as always, for your support of Christian authors. Blessings to you in 2015!
Thank you for stopping by and your support of InspyRomance (as always), Andrea! I always smile when I see your comments. Jim and I watched a very nice movie the other night, but wouldn’t you know, this sweet couple jumped into bed on their very first date! That was disappointing for both of us. The movie was more about them getting married and the family relationships from that point on, but still. . .disheartening to a point, but that’s the world we live in, and I dare say it has been for a long time. I appreciate your support of Christian fiction and its authors, Andrea. Blessings to you (and may you have many editing projects) in 2015!
Hi Narelle, and thanks for your comment! That’s an interesting point. Personally, I find it difficult to believe anyone complains about the lack of sex scenes. Hmm. . . I know a lot of women (Christian readers included) love the bad boys. In the secular market, I think many believe you can’t have such a bad boy without him cursing (among other things). That’s a more realistic portrayal is the reasoning. These are just my thoughts. I know some of the edgier Christian fiction sometimes portrays sexual situations and some language, so there’s definitely something out there for everyone. Let’s just keep writing our books the way we do and honor the Lord with our efforts. We’ll be just fine, and thank the Lord there ARE many readers out there for our books! Blessings to you in 2015!
JoAnn, thank you for your well-wishes for this year. I’m praying about my editing/proofreading really hard right now. Tutoring has slowed down for me, but the money isn’t just flowing in from the book side of things, either. I really do love the work, though, so of course I want it to work out. But, above all, I seek God’s will for me. This whole waiting game is hard sometimes.
Andrea
Hi JoAnn and thanks to Narelle Atkins for pointing me in the direction of your blog.
I am a debut writer and my first book, a medical romance set in regional Australia comes out on 22nd January with Momentum (the digital imprint of Pan MacMillan Australia). It is not a Christian romance, however I believe it can be categorised as a “sweet” romance.
Do you mind if I tell you my story and thoughts on this topic?
When I decided to finally write that book I’d been promising to write for years, I started writing a Christian romance – because that’s what I love to read. But the more I wrote, something wasn’t sitting ‘right’ with me. I prayed and felt God steering me towards writing a mainstream romance in the “rural romance” genre.
When I shared this with some Christian authors they all told me I’d never get published if my book didn’t have any sex in it. Thankfully that didn’t happen and my book IS getting published without sex. I was also told that the editors would ask me to include sex scenes in my book, but this hasn’t happened either.
Spoiler Alert: My book is a love story between two hurting people (neither of them are Christians), both carrying baggage from previous relationships. Do they kiss? Yes. More than once. Do they want to have sex? Yes. But they don’t. Nor do they move in together. He eventually proposes. She accepts. And they get married and live happily ever after. Does this even happen in real life between non-Christians? Maybe not, but maybe it does and I’m sure some readers will be happy that there are no sex scenes.
When I started writing I wanted to be able to write a book that did a number of things: (1) It had to honour God and bring Him glory, therefore no sex and no swearing. (2) I had to be happy that if my kids or mother-in-law read it, they wouldn’t blush and (3) it had to reflect my own values and moral Christian world view.
I look forward to reading Prelude.
God bless
Nicki
Nicki, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I’m so THANKFUL there are sweet romance writers out there that do write withOUT sex scenes and swear words, even if they are pressured to include them. Again, let me stress that these views do not represent all the authors on this blog, but they are my own personal opinions for MY books only. Christians are certainly not perfect, and as I mentioned above, I’ve also written books about those who have sinned sexually before marriage as well as those who wait for marriage. My point was that we’re all human and temptation exists. How we handle that temptation can and should set a true *Christian* romance apart from all the others. Even Christian writers have different sensitivities and opinions on these topics and they can certainly be “hot button” topics, I’ve discovered. But isn’t it GREAT to be able to share our opinions freely with one another? Thank the Lord there are all types of authors and readers in the marketplace. Many blessings to you, and congrats on the release of your book!! That’s so exciting, and I pray it will be successful! :)
Hi there, and thanks for your comment! I’m so sorry I missed it the first time around. Forgive me. Thank you for your kind words, and I will continue to write books that I feel are God-honoring and will uplift and encourage my readers. Blessings to you, and happy reading in 2015!!
I understand that, Andrea. I’m praying this whole “full-time author” gig works out for me, too. I really can’t focus on anything other than the books (and family, of course) right now. The Lord knows. Let’s both pray for each other, okay? Blessings, my sweet friend.
Oh, honey, I have been praying for you! And I will continue to do so. Our Lord has a plan for us. We just need to stay patient as He slowly reveals those plans. And, yes, patience is one of my least favorite words. And yet, there’s so much strength in gaining patience. With tutoring, writing, and proofreading, you’d think I’d be an old pro at it by now, but that is so not the case! I’m still working at it.