Typing the title to this post, my brain flashed to that scene in Miss Congeniality, you know, this one?
I enjoy that movie. But that scene is probably one of my favorites. The weather certainly factors in to a perfect date, don’t you think?
But, all kidding aside, I’m at the place in my current work-in-progress where I’m getting ready to (finally!) send my hero and heroine off on their first date, and David (the hero) is struggling with what to do. He’d like to do something out of the ordinary–something different than dinner and a movie. Sadly for David, his author is currently at a bit of a loss. He even went so far as to ask his sister about it. Here’s how that conversation turned out. (And…pardon the dust, it’s not fully edited, still being my work-in-progress.)
“I need help.”
David’s sister opened the door wider and gestured for him to come in. His oldest niece, Madison, a precocious six, raced by shrieking at the top of her lungs. Her little brother, Jeremy, zipped after her, hit the hall rug and slid into the wall before setting off a wail that could peel paint. “Welcome to bedlam.”
“Maybe this is a bad time. I can call you later. Or something.” Maybe he could ask a friend. He just hadn’t wanted to get in to everything…deal with all the questions that would come. Ji already knew about Jen.
“Oh, no. You’re here. Come on.” Ji scooped up his sobbing nephew, cutting off the noise immediately. The four-year-old snuggled in and beamed a watery smile at David before reaching out.
David took the boy and grunted. “You’re getting heavy.”
“S’cause I’ma big boy.”
“That’s right.” David kissed the boy’s forehead before setting him down. “Are you going to let your sister get away with that?”
Jeremy shook his head vigorously and tore off in the direction his sister had disappeared. Madison’s shriek pierced the temporary silence before Min’s voice cut it off again.
“Aha, now their dad’s on the case. He’ll, hopefully, wrangle them into pajamas and start getting teeth brushed. What brings you out here on a weeknight?” Ji followed the hall to the kitchen and began rinsing dishes. The dishwasher was already open and half-loaded. He must have interrupted the chore.
David hopped onto a stool at the island and crossed his arms. “I asked her out.”
“You asked her out. Jen? I thought you’d already asked her out.”
“Lunch with a coworker isn’t really the same thing. You know that. I asked her out on a date. A real one.”
Ji grinned and closed the dishwasher, then rinsed her hands and dried them. “That’s great. I liked her, by the way. A lot. So when’s the date?”
“Friday. And I have no clue. I haven’t been on a first date in…a long time. What do I do?”
“Seriously?” Ji shook her head and took two mugs out of the cabinet by the sink. She filled them with water and put them in the microwave. “Out of idle curiosity, why are you asking the sister who’s been married fifteen years? I haven’t been on a first date in a lot longer than you.”
It was a fair point. But…”You’re a girl. Don’t you have stockpiles of date ideas stashed away somewhere?”
“I think at this point she prefers the term ‘woman.’” Min pulled out the stool next to David and sat. “But if you do have a date idea stockpile somewhere, you should package it, sell it, and let me retire. I’ll be a stay-at-home dad and even toss in vacuuming every now and then.”
“Hey, man. Work’s still bad?”
Min nodded.
David frowned. Min was a super programmer. He’d been doing a lot of proposal and grant writing lately. He was good at it, but apparently hated it. “I…might actually have a possible solution for you. I have a team-lead position that just opened up. There’s still a decent amount of development involved, though you’d have management tasks, too. I’d need to make sure there wasn’t a problem with you being my brother-in-law. Well…that’s assuming you didn’t have a problem with it first.”
“Send me some details. I’m not immediately opposed. And at the least, maybe knowing I’m actively looking at another option will convince them to hold to their promise that this was temporary. Who’d you ask out?”
David blew across the top of his tea before sipping. “Jen. Didn’t Ji tell you about her?”
Min nodded. “Just making sure. What’s wrong with dinner and a movie? If I recall, that was our first date. Things seem to have worked out okay.”
The National Mall
Ji got her mug from the microwave and leaned against the island. “Or you can do dinner and something else. The weather’s been pretty good, you could try a walk downtown. The Mall’s pretty in the evening.”
“I guess. I was hoping for something more, I don’t know, creative? Unique? I want to make an impression.”
Shirlington VA
“What about Shirlington? Good restaurants, nice place to stroll and window shop. And you could check the theater there and see if there’s something live going on, comedy or some such. That’s a little more interesting than sitting in a dark movie where you can’t interact.” Ji pulled the tea bag out of her mug and then out of David’s. That was probably why it was starting to taste weird. He never remembered to take the things out.
“All right. I’ll look into that. Thanks. Where are the minions? They’ve gotten quiet.”
Min sighed and stood. “I should probably check on that. They’re supposed to be getting ready for bed. They’re probably playing. Good to see you, David. Let us know how the date goes.”
David watched his brother-in-law take the stairs two at a time before turning back to his sister. “He doesn’t really care about my date, does he?”
“Maybe he wants me to stop talking about how I wish you’d find a nice girl and settle down. I don’t know.” Ji shrugged and moved around to sit on the stool her husband had vacated.
David chuckled and took a long drink of tea. It was nice that his sister cared. Mostly. At least she wasn’t pushy like his mom could be. Though again, it was hard to mind too much when you knew they just wanted the best for you. Soo-Yi had not been what’s best though, and he’d known it long before he’d had to guts to break things off with her. She’d known it too—had told him as much. The pressure to get married though…it got heavy.
“What?”
“Nothing, really. It’s nice that you care.”
“Why wouldn’t I care? I’m your older sister.”
“But you were out of the house by the time I was what, ten? It’s not like we were buddie growing up.”
Ji slung her arm over David’s shoulders. “Maybe not, but we are now. Right?”
He chuckled. “Sure. But only because your kids say I’m their favorite uncle.”
She laughed and swatted his arm. “Go home. Don’t stress the date too much. I have a feeling that whatever you decide is going to be great.”
First dates are a big deal! You don’t want it to be something where there’s no possibility of conversation. So that rules out lots of things (like movies!) but at the same time, don’t you want it to be awkward or boring. As a result, a lot of my characters go on dinner and a walk kind of first dates. Around here there are, at least, some very pretty and unique places to stroll and window shop, so that helps some. But I can’t help feeling that I’m wriggling into a bit of a rut.
I really don’t want to be in a rut.
And so I’m turning to you for help. What’s your ideal (first) date? (I put the first in parentheses because it doesn’t have to be first date material only, I’ll take whatever suggestions you’ve got.)
As a bonus, I’ll choose one person who comments before March 31st to choose something from any of my current collection of ebooks.
Elizabeth Maddrey is a semi-reformed computer geek and homeschooling mother of two who lives in the suburbs of Washington D.C. When she isn’t writing, Elizabeth is a voracious consumer of books. She loves to write about Christians who struggle through their lives, dealing with sin and receiving God’s grace on their way to their own romantic happily ever after.
That is a great scene from Miss Congeniality, Elizabeth. Having grown up in the suburbs of Washington, D.C., I’ll look forward to reading this story. One of my most memorable first dates was a daytime date in Old Town Alexandria, touring the quaint shops and strolling around the waterfront. After we headed to the Tidal Basin to see the Cherry Blossoms. It was the perfect day. :)
Hi Jill! I keep forgetting you’re from around these parts. All my books are set here, so if you ever need a DC area fix, you now where to look :) I’ve set a lot of dates in Old Town! And the tidal basin. And that park at the end of the Reagan airport runway where you can watch the planes come and go…:) I love this area.
My first date with my now husband, included dinner at a small pub. We ate, played cribbage and talked. Years later we took our son there and yep, you guessed it, ate, played cribbage and talked. Good memories – thanks for bringing them to mind.
I probably should have also said that our first date was on a very snowy November day in Maine. He asked me to marry him at a college hockey game. (We still have season tickets.) Maybe they could do a geocache if they enjoy the outdoors?
Ooh – those are all lovely ideas! Thanks! :) and how fun to have a restaurant where you can linger over a game. We need more of those!
Julianne I love your idea of a geocache. It’s fun, outdoors, good exercise, and a great chance for conversation and getting to know someone,
I also like the idea of bicycle riding and a picnic. Or maybe something to release their inner child like a circus, a state fair, or a video arcade, complete with candy apples or cotton candy.
Hmm…a bike ride is intriguing. I can see how to work that in. :) and geocaching, too. Hmmmmm.
Y’all are great! Thanks!
My first date with my hubby included, a prime rib dinner, and a high school football game! Yes, it was very different, but it was really kinda cool! :) Ok, let me be honest, my brother tagged along on our first date. I know, that might seem a little bit weird, but he was the one who introduced us, and my nephew was playing in the game, so we all went together! :) We actually had a great time. I think with my brother being there, it sorta helped break the ice a little bit! We still laugh when we tell people about it today. :)
I am sure you will come up with something great, and come out of your rut! Personally, I love all the first dates in your books, just sayin! :)
Nice excerpt, Elizabeth! :)
That’s fun, Rachelle! I like group dates that turn into more.
And thanks – I’ve never stressed about a date in a book as badly as I did this one!
Thanks, Autumn!
I had another thought. We have a pottery place here where I live. You go in, pick a piece you like, pick your paints and design the piece. You leave it and they fire it. You pick it up a week later. What fun could be had between two people, maybe even making something for each other. Being silly, just having fun. Or maybe that could be a second or third date?
We have those places around here, too. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a guy in there above the age of ten. But it’s something to consider! Thanks :)
My husband and I went on a second date to skyline drive for a picnic, and then went to old town Alexandria and walked around. I decided to go jogging at a park, possibly the one at the end of Reagan airport. He felt he needed to protect me and decided to try to keep up with me. I found out later he weight lifted, but didn’t do any aerobic training! Apparently he added jogging into his routine to be able to keep up with me! (No, I’m not a fast runner, my mother was though.)
I love that! Especially the jogging bit — that’s precious.
I’ve always loved picnics and being around nature. Living in Ithaca, NY, I’m surrounded by the most amazing state/local parks. Some of my favorite dates with my husband were always strolling around the park and sitting for a picnic near a waterfall or on top of a hill at Cornell Plantations. It’s just amazing to hear the song of the birds and the soothing sound of water falling when your only focus is the person in front of you. We talked for hours until loosing track of time and realizing it was getting cold (and it gets cold pretty fast in Upstate NY). One of our first dates in our home town was at a Botanical Garden, and he proposed near the city lake, so you can say we’re pretty partial to such outings with lots of greens and water.
So fun! I love all of those ideas — and we have some good parks near here as well.
My first date with my husband was to the WA state fair in Puyallup. A date that is fun and gives me something to do other than sit there is my ideal kind of date.
Our first was bowling! Do people still do that if they aren’t in a league? How about a museum or art festival?
My husband and I went with a church group and it was good, it took the pressure that the first dates can bring on.
To be honest, I don’t even remember what my first “official” date was with my husband, but we spent a lot of time prior to officially dating, hanging out with a few other friends. We would all talk over coffee, watch movies together, eat meals together, go places, and just be together. I remember those times of getting to know him and really like him more than I do our first official date. I do remember going to a concert at our state fair early in our dating. That was a lot of fun. They had a one of those old photo booths that we took pictures in. Still have the pictures, too.
The state fair is a great idea for a summer romance!
Oh totally! I actually had planned on bowling later in the book.
Groups are a great thing — definitely take the pressure off!
That sounds a lot like me and my husband. We did a lot of studying together and hanging out with friends rather than “dates”.
My husband and I went to McDonalds on our first date. It was the only place that we knew that wasn’t flooded. We used to go hiking, walking on the beach, and bowling when we were dating.
The first time I did something with my now husband was to go on a hike, with my dad along :-) My mom later told him she didn’t think he’d really been invited :-) The next time we did something together we went to the zoo with a friend of his, and the friend’s two young relatives. They did leave us alone the whole time. Then Jim proceeded to tell me he didn’t think we should get serious. We did spend more time together before he went overseas (Air Force), but always with my family around. Our last date alone before that it was raining and we went for a walk in Muir Woods National Monument (near San Francisco). The best part of our courtship was all the letters we wrote while he was overseas. So I’m not much help on creative dates :-)
I also enjoyed the scene from Miss Congeniality.
Being the mother of three sons, two who are married – the best dates are the ones that cost the least amount of money, but involved a lot of thought. In West Michigan, we have some of the most romantic beaches in the Midwest. The best date is a walk along the shore, or on the pier, with your favorite ice cream cone, or a slice of famous Silver Beach pizza – the best pizza and the best beach in SW Michigan. There are many free or inexpensive activities on the bluff overlooking Lake Michigan – Art Festival, band or symphony concerts, brown bag lunch concerts, art on the bluff, or a carousal ride. (Art of the Bluff – every year local artists paint statues (bears, fish, toys, etc) that are displayed in our town from Memorial Day through Labor Day). There are picnic tables, benches and the best are the swings and rocking chairs on the bluff.
In Washington DC my favorite spot would be a picnic or a leisurely stroll along the Potomac River near the Jefferson Memorial.
Just a thought, if the first date is over the top, how can that be topped for special occasion’s – Valentine’s Day, marriage proposal, or wedding anniversaries. My son was broke, but wanted a nice evening for his girlfriend. So he planned a date on our deck with mode lighting (candles) and music (he made the sound track of her favorite hits). He planned the menu – appetizer, salad, main entree, and dessert. The table was set with candles and flowers (from our garden). No huge expense, but an evening to remember. (Except for serving the meal, mom stayed out of the way.)
My first date with my husband was when we were both still students. He phoned to ask me out to celebrate the end of his exams. I spent the next week asking other people if they were coming too – I hadn’t realised it was a “date” date! We went to Pizza Hut where he ended up eating most of the pizza as I was too nervous, spent most of the time talking absolute nonsense while completely stripping his beer bottle of its labels. When the waiter came to clear the table, he looked at me, the bottle and the label (now off the bottle) and said “I’ll just leave this here for you!” My husband still occasionally places his beer bottle in front of me when we go out and asks if I want to take the label off!
See, I love that! I took my hubby (then boyfriend) out for Sadie Hawkins one year to White Castle and we shared a single burger. (they’re really small – in the South they’re called Krystal) I had a whole scavenger hunt that we went on (he had to figure out from clues where we were going and then we shared something small at each place.) It was fun.
Aww – I love letters. That’s sweet. And fun that your family went along on the dates. I got dragged on many of my sister’s dates (not by her choice, mind you). That was…less fun.
I have several strolls on the Potomac and a proposal at the Jefferson in others of my books. But maybe readers don’t feel they’re as tired as I think readers are thinking they are!
And yeah, I try to avoid seriously over the top dates in my books (and in person) because I hate having that huge expectation that you have to keep topping.
Haha! Oh my. :)
What about a walk thru Arlington Cemetery. Have several subway stories – once going from Crystal City to the Mall – George Town University students got into a fight and under cover cops broke it up. The time I took a train to Arlington – I was on the wrong side of the track and the attendant called over the loud speaker and got me to Arlington without having to buy a new ticket. My son in 8th grade instructed his social studies teacher about the space shuttle tombstone.
Or is an excursion to Mt. Vernon possible. Being from the Midwest, I find Washington DC fascinating. Even buying an official Whote House Easter egg or Christmas tree ornament. To remember my dad I have the Christmas tree ornament for 2014, which is a train engine.
Hmm – I’ve never sent characters to Arlington Cemetery. That’s a fabulous idea. As is My Vernon, though I believe I’ve done that once.
Fun post, Elizabeth! I have to say, the one thing that stands out in my mind about Miss Congeniality was that Miss Rhode Island won the beauty pageant. You must understand my husband is from Newport, Rhode Island. Of course, that was probably intentional irony on the part of the film makers. :) I don’t know about a favorite first date, but one thing I’ll always remember is going to visit a boyfriend. There was a tunnel in the middle of campus that was the one place on campus where students could freely write messages, etc., and they kept it clean, thank goodness. I know he couldn’t wait to take a walk with me after dinner, but I couldn’t understand why at the time. He told me to close my eyes and walked with me. Not long after, he told me to open my eyes. In front of me on the tunnel wall was this message, “JoAnn, I’m so glad you’re here.” I still sigh when I think of that romantic moment. Of course, it was gone the next day. This guy was a very strait-laced student and to think he actually spray painted something was incredible to me. Maybe it’s just me, but… :-) Blessings.
Aw. That’s a sweet memory, JoAnn.
I love first date stories. My husband and I went on our first date as boyfriend and girlfriend, to see a movie. Of course, the only movie playing was “The Outlaw Josey Wales” with Clint Eastwood. Not a great first date movie, with all the violence. But, we did hold hands during the whole movie and we both still remember how sweaty our hands were the whole time. Love, love, love… and here were are 37 years later, still married and more in love ever day.
I don’t remember the first official date I had with my husband. We met at the apartment complex where we both lived, and we hung out with a big group of people before we actually had a first date.
Aw. Sweaty hands – I remember those nerves.
That’s fun, Merrilee!
That’s because you’ve already written so many of them and want something new and different.
You’re probably right! :)
How about a picnic and walk by the lake if warm weather or if cold ice skating
Another suggestion is meet at friend’s house for game night if uncomfortable with a one on one date
I think a walk sounds like a great date but around here it would be called hiking and there’s nothing better than a nice hike along a creek in the woods. Okay, maybe a walk along the beach would be better but that’s not exactly an option here in the midwest.
The first thing my husband and I did one-on-one was travel to a mutual friend’s college football game. It felt like everyone was giving us the goo-goo eyes and I was the only one who didn’t know what was going on. I assume my husband had a crush on me and his friends had caught on (I had been dating someone else for a couple years, silly me!), I don’t have any proof of that theory because he wouldn’t admit or deny it for years until he changed his strategy to memory loss. (He’s a stinker but I love him!)
The age difference between your brother and sister pair makes me think of my younger sister who I’m now really close to, there are 9 1/2 years between us (and another sister but that’s another story entirely).
Oooh, they could possibly go ice skating. That’s a lovely idea.
Great idea for a group date!
Oh, a hike is a delightful idea. Right now the book’s in January/February so it’s not super great hike weather but…sometimes the Virginia weather surprises you.
And that’s a sweet story about your hubby. :)
This isn’t a first date and this wasn’t with my husband….but I remember going to our local fair with my high school sweetheart. Seeing the sights, riding the various rides, eating the food and playing all sorts of games. We had so much fun together, it was completely stress free & brought lots of laughter! I think that would be an ideal date to get to know one another and do lots of talking & laughing together. Maybe be a little competitive with the carnival games :-) We also used to go to the arcade in the mall, I loved the pinball machines and he loved the car race games. Then we’d also eat lunch in one of the fast food places. Ideally, any place you can have fun with each other is a great date!
My husband and I have been married for 34 years. Our first date was to go ice skating at the local mall and then have hot chocolate. It was great! Unfortunately, we can’t go back there because they took the ice skating rink out and put in a food court. UGH!