Why We Love Romance and What to Do About it

Romance. It touches a most tender part within us. But before I continue, I wanted to alert all you romance lovers to a HUGE DISCOUNT! For a limited time, CBD is offering my debut novel for $0.79! For the same price as a chocolate candy bar. But why choose one or the other? Buy both for just over a buck and a half, then have yourself a merry, chocolatey reading time. :) You can purchase the book here.

You can purchase the chocolate anywhere. ;)

For it is not good that man should be alone. To the contrary, God longs for us to find our helpmate, the one most suitable for us. Some of us have found that, others are still waiting.

Still others read romance novels with a bittersweet sting as they long for the love that once was. A love they fear is gone, quenched by years of fighting, busyness, and life.

But our God is a resurrecting, life-breathing God who who can soften even the hardest hearts and rekindle even the most deadest of loves.

I’ve seen it again and again.

More than that, I’ve been there.

In the middle of one of many fights, my husband suddenly turned calm. Cold, and said, “I don’t love you anymore.”

It hit me with such force, I had no reply. Feeling physically ill, I thought, “It’s over.” For who can save a loveless marriage?

Oh, but our God is mighty to save! And He did save our marriage. More than that. He transformed it so that nineteen years later I can honestly say I am madly, passionately, deeply in love with this handsome, sweet man of mine.

He can do the same for you, and here are some things you can do–some first steps you can take–to help:

1. Decide to be the one to initiate change.

When fighting with another, our pride often rears its head. Often we want to lash out, to be heard, understood. We certainly don’t want to be the first to apologize. Why should we??? We’ve done it a hundred times. Besides, this issue is all our spouse’s fault. They caused the argument and therefore need to be the one to fix it.

This kind of thinking only leads to increased barriers. Maybe we are right. Maybe we’re justified in our anger, and yes, we can remain that way… all the way to divorce court.

Or we could swallow our pride and take that first step, then the second, then the third, trusting God to work on our behalf.

2. Determine to see good in your spouse.

When we’re angry at someone, it’s natural to zero in on all their negative qualities, so much so that we forget the good. But that doesn’t mean the good isn’t there. It just might be hidden behind self-defensiveness, hurt, and anger.

When my husband and I were going through a tough time, I began to ask God to soften my heart toward him and to help me truly see him as Christ does. An amazing thing happened–it was as if God gave me a glimpse deep into my husband’s heart. It was beautiful and marriage changing!

There are many steps we can take to heal and strengthen our marriage. I’ve provided two that I believe are foundation. Join me next month to learn of two more action steps we can take to add romance back into our homes. Now it’s your turn. For those who’ve been married for a while, what do you do to soothe things over when your relationship has become tense? How do you keep the romance alive?

But before you go, I wanted to let you know my contemporary romance, which has been nominated for best Christian fiction debut, is currently on sale for $0.99 for a limited time. Get your copy here!

Beyond I Do:

Raised by a hedonist mother who relentlessly cycles through jobs and relationships, Ainsely runs toward the predictable and safe, Which she believes she’s found in Richard, a socialite psychiatrist. But as her wedding draws near, an encounter with a battered woman and her child spark a long-forgotten dream, a hidden passion. One that threatens to change everything, including her fiance’.

Jennifer Slattery (13 Posts)

Jennifer Slattery is a missional romance novelist with New Hope Publishers. She writes and edits for Christ to the World Ministries, is a regular contributor to Crosswalk.com, Internet Cafe Devotions, Faith-filled Friends, and Jewels of Encouragement, and manages the social media for Takin’ it to the Streets, a ministry that serves Omaha’s working poor and homeless. She’s placed in numerous writing contests and her work has appeared in numerous compilations, magazines, and e-zines.