I’ve been doing a lot of work on a side project lately that has involved examining some of the common characters in romance (cowboys, billionaires, athletes, law enforcement, etc). One of the characters that I have been spending some time studying recently is Widows and Widowers. I love these stories, but I only recently understood why.
You can tell I’ve always enjoyed these stories because two of my first three books I wrote fell into this category! (They are Falling on Main Street and Kissing in the Kitchen, in case you’re curious). I haven’t written one since, but I do have some pretty strong thoughts about the storyline, why it is popular, and my pet peeves for these stories.
The good news is that two of my most recent five star reads have been stories that fall into this category. Let me talk about why I love these stories, and then I’ll give you my recommendations!
Why I love it:
Even though I’ve never lost my spouse, I can relate to the struggle of grief that comes from saying goodbye to someone. I enjoy taking the journey with a deeply wounded character as they find happiness again after loss. It is such a powerful message of hope and ultimately, a very satisfying happy ending. I love that the characters have a complicated past that makes them deep and hesitant. I admit to loving the back-and-forth tension and angst of the internal struggle of the widow or widower as they process the guilt of “moving on.”
What I struggle with:
My biggest pet peeve for these storylines is if the previous relationship is written off as loveless, abusive, or otherwise flawed as a way for the widow/widower to shortcut the process of “moving on” to someone new. Now, I’m definitely not saying that the previous relationship needs to be perfect, but in either circumstance, the main character is going to have some things to process. The wounds will be different if they are grieving the love of their life or dealing with wounds their first marriage left. As long as the author addresses that, I’m good!
My other pet peeve is if the previous relationship isn’t really important in the story. Losing a partner would be such an identity-shaping experience, I get frustrated if an author made their character a widower, but then basically ignored the fact that they had a previous wife when as the story develops. It just feels a bit like a bait and switch and I didn’t get what I was hoping from the journey.
Widow story recommendations:
I read Elizabeth Maddrey’s “Her Billionaire Benefactor” a few weeks ago and loved it. If you’ve been reading my blogs for awhile, that shouldn’t be a surprise, as I adore almost all of Elizabeth’s books. This book was a great slow-burn romance that felt like an impossibility from the beginning, developed so naturally, and resolved with a happy sigh. The billionaire character is sweet and swoony (and adores his grandmother!). The widow character has a huge trauma to work through in losing her entire family – and the character arc was very well developed. I loved the Easter connection and the cameos from other characters in the multi-author series. Highly recommend this if you are a fan of widow stories, slow burn romance, and small-town settings.
Next up is a book that is still on pre-order, but I couldn’t let that stop me from talking about it. Hannah Jo Abbott’s newest book is His Best Friend’s Widow and it comes out about two weeks from today. I love a lot of Hannah’s books, but this one gave me ALL the feels. Our widow is doing her best to single parent three rowdy kids, running herself ragged. The male main-character was her husband’s best friend, and his grief has kept him away. Until she calls him out of desperation one day… This book has adorable children characters, laugh-out-loud moments, tear-your-hair out tension and almost-moments. It made me cry more than once and was just **chef’s kiss** perfection. Seriously, I don’t rave about books often, but I finished it in one sitting and am counting down the days until release when I will read it again in the final version. Pre-order it today or mark your calendar to read it in Kindle Unlimited.
What do you like about Widow/Widower romances? Do you have any favorites you recommend? Let me know in the comments!
Tara Grace Ericson lives in Missouri with her husband and two sons. She studied engineering and worked as an engineer for many years before embracing her creative side to become a full-time author. She loves cooking, crocheting, and reading books by the dozen. Her writing partner is usually her black lab - Ruby - and a good cup of coffee or tea. She loves a good “happily ever after” with an engaging love story. That’s why Tara focuses on writing clean contemporary romance, with an emphasis on Christian faith and living.
I liked Her Billionaire Benefactor too. Its interesting I think I like the books for the reasons you do and dislike for the same reason.
It also interesting cos my mum was a widow. Dad died when I was 11 almost 12 and I honestly don’t know how I would have handled her getting remarried. She was older (almost 45 when I was born) and she always said dad was her one and only love. But we had another lady who were who we were close to who remarried and her daughter who had spent a lot of time with her mum after her dad died (she was about 15 or so) who really struggled with the idea of her mum remarrying.
I think thats one thing authors need to remember because many kids have this reaction they don’t want a new dad or mum. Of course it depends on the marriage. I like when an author recognises the struggle of the kids as well as the widow/widower.
That’s such a great point I didn’t even mention! Kids will definitely have an opinion and the parent has to address that conversation — even if the kids are older or it has been a long time.
I have to agree with you. I don’t like when an author makes it appear that the first relationship was inconsequential, even if it wasn’t a real good relationship. The reader needs to understand where the widow or widower is coming from. What type of relationship they had helps the reader relate to or at least have an idea what the person is going through.
Definitely. It makes it feel like the author made them a widow just for a label, but didn’t really evaluate what that means for their emotional state and journey.
Thanks for popping in!
I enjoy widow/widower stories because I have seen a friend of twenty two lose her husband and the ensuing romance which has lasted forty plus years and the pain my mother suffered, although my Dad had been hospitalised for ten years before he died. It’s so important to realise not only the pain of loss in a good or bad marriage ( mourning the ‘what could have been’) but the fact that there can be life after death.
Juliette Duncan has a family saga box set ‘A sunburned land’ which sensitively deals with two second marriages after death.
It’s such a common human experience that most of us can relate to somehow (through ourselves or others).
Thanks for the recommendation. I’ve heard such good things about Juliette’s books.
I’ve read quite a few, though don’t ask me right now for titles! I, too, LOVED Elizabeth’s book!! Looking forward to reading Hannah Jo’s, too! I’m with you, I don’t like the new couple to get together too fast, as it’s going to take time to be able to open yourself up to another person after such a loss. I haven’t lost a spouse, but as quite a few of my friends agree, it was almost like I’d lost a spouse when Mom passed, and honestly, there’s quite a bit of that first year after her passing that I don’t remember! I remember back 27 years to my Daddy’s passing, and Mom telling me that the lady from hospice that would check on her told her that you do NOT make any major changes for at least the first year after your spouse died. That that was too soon, and you may not be making the decision that is best for you during that time. So, I like the books with this in it to take time, and the timing in Elizabeth’s book was great!
That’s great advice from the hospice caregiver. I do think that even if we haven’t lost a spouse, if you lose someone who is a big part of your daily life, it leaves a hole that is similar (like with your mom).
Thanks for your thoughts, Trudy!
Hmmm.. it does sound like perfection. You make some really great points to appreciate about the genre, as well as to beware of! Thanks for the recommendation!!
I hope you’ll check them both out!
I often don’t enjoy stories about widows/widowers, I think a lot of what you said explains why – definitely that ‘bait and switch’ thing where a character who is widowed seems to just ignore their previous life and move on without a backward glance.
Having said that I also loved ‘Her Billionaire Benefactor ‘, it is such a difficult balance writing a character like Wendy who has lost not just her spouse but her whole family and Elizabeth Maddrey does it so well.
I would have to say Love Comes Softly. It is a combination of a widow and widower as well as a marriage of convenience. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
not my kind of trope
I don’t like it very much…I’m single yet so I want to read romances about women close to my age who are waiting for their first love…but I like “Love comes softly”.
Mainly because of the difference between the “fireworks” of the first husband and the stealthy feelings with the second. It is also different to find love at 20 than at 50 when someone is widowed young.
What I don’t like is when the widow or widower really doesn’t seem to be able to move on… that is, they don’t really seem willing to start a new relationship with this person and give them their space, but rather they are remembering their ex-partner all the time. …I read a book where it was like that EVERYTHING WAS “Oh, the children look so much like him, it’s as if he were with us, he enjoyed this” to such an extent that she didn’t seem to accept that her partner had gone to another life but that it was as if he was still present and there was almost no room for the hero who, the truth, more than a new love, only felt like the second best in story. At the end of the story I felt that the man was agreeing to marry a woman who constantly remembers her dead husband, has a house full of photos with him and is not willing to change anything for this new person even though the children don’t really remember to his dad the woman is very reluctant to let them form a relationship again dad with the hero because they are the children of her first husband they cannot displace him! And these aren’t really issues to address in the story—the book ends when the hero and heroine pair up. I ended with the feeling that the poor man deserved better and she needed a little more time to process the loss.