As I was considering what to write about this month, I thought about the words we write and the ones we say.
I like to play video games, and not the ones you’re probably thinking–though maybe some of those too. I like Call of Duty – shoot’em up games, even though I’m not particularly good at them. (No comments on my choice of pass-time please.) Anyway, one time I did particularly badly. Moments later, a fellow player (it’s an online game that can be played with friends or strangers), someone I didn’t know, sent me a message–like e-mail, but through the game–and told me I was so bad I should just go kill myself. I was shocked. And hurt. And now, looking back on it, I’m not sure why I was hurt. He (or she) was a stranger, probably venting frustration. His or her words should not have affected me. But they did. Somehow those words mattered to me. For days I walked around feeling depressed.
I walk with my feet turned out. In truth, if I stand with my feet parallel, my knees point inward. They have for as long as I can remember. One time, my parents and I were walking through the local mall. I was probably seven or eight at the time. As most children do, I was leading the way. I overheard my dad say something to my mom about the way I walked. I don’t remember his exact words, but I was so hurt. I tried for YEARS after that incident to fix my walk, to make my feet aim forward. To no avail. I am still self-conscious about my walk, especially through mud or snow because the evidence of my feet pointing outward is left behind for all to notice.
Words matter.
My words.
Your words.
God’s Words.
They have power.
The Bible has much to say about the tongue, but I’m only going to post a couple of verses for you to consider.
- Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4 (NLT)
- The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)
I’ve heard it said a time or two that fiction is all fluff. That nothing can be learned through reading it. I beg to differ. I’ve read MANY books that challenge me to be better in my spiritual walk–in forgiveness, in love, in trust, and so much more. They inspire me to be thankful for my family. And in writing my books, God teaches me MANY things. Some of them I didn’t even know I needed to learn.
So, from now on, when I sit down to write, I’m going to remember that my words matter.
When I stand in my home and am frustrated with a child who didn’t do what he/she said would be done, my words matter. I have to think about what I say and how I say it.
And something else to consider, the lack of words matter as well. Have you told your spouse or child or parent that you love them recently? Have your expressed your thankfulness for them to them? Have they done something that makes you proud? Did you tell them?
I don’t remember my parents ever saying that they loved me. This is something I’ve made sure to tell my kids often. I don’t want them to EVER doubt my love or gratitude for them.
And now that you’ve read all of these words, go out and share some uplifting and encouraging words with those in your sphere of influence. “You look great,” “That’s a good color on you,” “I love your shoes,” “Your hair looks great today,” “I love you.”
Thank you for being faithful readers. As I write this, I am praying for everyone who reads. May you hear/see God’s love for you today. May you be encouraged to share His love with someone who may need to see/hear it.
I will bless one lucky commenter with your choice of one of my single book titles. You can see those here. This giveaway ends Friday 9/6 at midnight (or thereabouts).
Blessings,
Ginger Solomon is a Christian, a wife, a mother to seven, and a writer—in that order (mostly). She writes or reads inspirational romance of any genre. Even when she’s busy homeschooling, doing laundry, or fixing dinner, reading or writing are not far from her mind. She is president of her local writing group, and blogs regularly for InspyRomance.com and at gingersolomon.com.
What an awesome post! It really made me think, and consider things, especially since I know I can be harsh to my husband and child sometimes! I’m going to bookmark your post so I can re-read it often!
Thanks from a MMORPG (Final Fantasy 14) Player!
You’re welcome, Victoria. Now I’m going to have to look at Final Fantasy 14. :o
I hope you do check it out…I love playing it even more than World of Warcraft!
Hi Ginger, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I value the words that you write- in your books and on this blog, that you are not afraid to tackle hard topics and that most of all you honour God and point us, your readers, to Him.
This challenges me to use my words- to be courageous in speaking God’s love and truth and letting others know that they are important and valued.
Blessings:)
Thank you, Wemble. I needed the smile your words gave me today.
Yes word matter if everyone would think before we speak or learn to hold our word back we might be better off. Thank you for what you ( all authors ) write for the words teaches me thinking and making me remover we are all different and have our on problems.
I agree, Brenda. Sometimes the best words are the ones not spoken.
Hi Ginger! Thanks for a thought provoking blog. As a reader, I am often uplifted and encouraged through a romance story. Words matter. As a child, my mom called me “a witch,” which still hurts even though she passed 12 years ago. Therefore I vowed never to call people names and be hurtful. When my husband, kid, grandkids or students lash out, I bite my tongue and count to ten – giving me time to think of an appropriate response – not a hurtful one. Then I can address the behavior, not attack the person. Best wishes.
That’s an awesome practice, Renate. I wish I could remember to do that in the heat of the moment. I need to try harder not to react but to respond.
I can also remember hurtful things said to me as a child. I can also remember hurtful things I’ve said to people and about people that I strongly regret. Thanks for a much needed post.
We all have our regrets for words spoken, Sherri. This is where we need to humble ourselves and ask forgiveness and move on, remembering to control our tongues as best we can.
I really enjoyed your post because words do matter and do have a positive or negative impact on all of us. It’s sad how we can still remember harsh words said decades later. They should not still have an impact on us.
The old children’s poem, “Sticks and stones …” comes to mind. It was such a big lie. Words hurt far worse and last far longer than simple broken bones.
Hi Ginger! Thank you for your transparent post.
I have never read a book based in Scotland. I would love to read ` Eyes of Peril`
Have a blessed day!
Thanks, Michelle. :) I don’t advertise or give away that one here, because it is not CCR, but should you be the winner, I won’t oppose whatever choice you make. :D
Thank for a good reminder that our words can build up or tear down.
My feet point out too. I was pigeon toed , feet pointed in, when I was born and the doctor and my parents over corrected and they point out now. My mom only did half of what the doctor said for my brothers and they turned out properly.
God bless your writing. I agree with you, I learn a lot from reading fiction.
Sometimes I really wonder about doctors. :o I think, at times, we elevate them to such a status (or they elevate themselves) that we forget that they are PRACTICING medicine. They don’t know it all.
Words do matter. Thanks for the reminder and also thanks for the opportunity to read one of your books
You’re welcome.
What a beautiful reminder about how powerful our words can be. Thank you so much for for this post!❤️❤️❤️
You’re welcome, Paula Marie.
Thanks for the reminder that words matter, but thank you even more for the reminder that the words we don’t say also matter. I tell my kids I love them all the time, but there are others in my life I don’t often express my gratitude or love for. Your post convicted me of that.
You’re welcome. It was a great reminder for me too.
Ginger, thanks for the reminder about how our words can affect others.
You’re welcome.
Good post! Makes you think!
I try. :D
Oh, yes, words matter!!!! I’ve learned to speak to myself after someone has said things to me, words straight from the Bible, to tell myself that I do have worth, that God loves me, and that He’s there for me. One thing about CF that I love is that I know I’m not the only one going through problems. Maybe not the same problems a character in a book is, by the way they react, the verses they use to get through, can sometimes point me in a better direction, too. At least we can see other Christians building each other up, and that helps us, too, to do the same.
Speaking to ourselves using God’s word is great advice.
I’m sorry you were hurt. But thank you for being brave and sharing. I agree with you that words matter. Please continue to share your words through books. They are amazing. :)
Thanks, Priscila.
Words cut deep. My ex husband berated me for years with words and they are hard to overcome. Therefore like you I try to speak kind words, words of blessings and encouragement to others. You are loved just as you are. 💕💞
I’m sorry for his unkind words. I always remind myself when someone says something unkind that they are speaking (most of the time) from their own pain. I also remind myself that I AM A CHILD OF GOD. He made me and loves me just as I am.
Thanks for the post and reminder. Words absolutely matter. And knowing when to use them matters too. I’m trying to learn each day how to use them wisely.
I think we all are learning.
I have learned that lessons many times in life. I am always careful because I know that I cannot recall the words once it leaves my mouth. You may be forgiven for hurtful or thoughtless words but the impact is felt for years.
That is so true, Sonnetta.
Oh girl, I feel your pain! My parents never told me that they loved me either but when writing their eulogies with my siblings, we discussed this and came up with so many ways that they SHOWED their love to us. While it would have been nice to have been told, love was still there. And I also make sure to tell my girls often that I love them.
Yes, my mom was much better at showing her love than saying it.
I am so far behind. Was in the city for a couple of says for medical appointments and came back exhausted.
What you said about someone saying something that upset you I can relate to. Just this past weekend I put up a post asking for suggestions for something and I spelt a word wrong not once but twice. She said words to the effect not to be critical but you spelt (a word) wrong not once but twice that is why people suggest the item cos you can’t spell. It did upset me and I took the post down and unfriended this person. (she was a friend due to games).
I am the first to admit I can’t spell but she could have just said do you mean (insert correct word).
I too don’t really remember mum or dad ever saying they loved me. (dad had a stroke when I was 8 and died when I was 11). They both did things to show love but didn’t say it that I remember. I do know of things I over heard mum say to others like Oh she tried to do something but did it wrong (after doing it exactly like told to) and it hurt and frustrated me. It was days like this lots of wood got split.
Physical activity does dispel SOME of the anger and disappointment.
Personally, I’m thankful for spell check. It doesn’t catch everything, but sometimes my brain goes faster than my fingers can keep up and I will switch letters (like above I typed doesnt’ and had to go back and fix it). And sometiems, (haha, I’ll leave that one), I stare at a word and am sure it’s spelled incorrectly (one like choice or their), but KNOW that it’s not. I’ll even look it up because I doubt myself. :) You are not alone in spelling mistakes, for sure. Have you SEEN how many memes go out with spelling errors? Talk about embarrassing. :o
This is such a good reminder to me about the power that my words can have on others. I struggle with accepting criticism sometimes and tend to dwell on things that people say to me but it would be good to remember that my words might have just as strong an impact on others and I should watch what I say and how I say it.
We often forget the power we have over others via our words and tone.
I admit my big mouth gets me a lot of hurt feelings. We need this prompt to think before we speak. Thanks! Blessings!
Ginger, thank you for this beautiful reminder to use our words wisely!!!
Words hurt sometimes, but I constantly remind myself that we have a sinful nature (not perfect). So, I need to forgive and move on (with God’s help)!
Blessings!!!
Ginger Thank you for sharing this post yes words do hurt a lot Blessings to you my friend and sharing with us I needed to read this today You are an amazing Lady!
So true, thanks for sharing!