Welcome! And yes, we’re going to have fun today. And fun starts with cleaning. (not really!) But I was cleaning out some boxes and came across a smaller box with note cards inside. Except all these note cards had been written on. I started reading them and they were given to me at my bridal shower twenty years ago.
They are so pretty in pastels and beautiful handwriting. And the words—well, they are full of wisdom for sure. I loved reading back through these. They were all signed but two. One of the unsigned said, “Control the money!” Ha!
My mother-in-law wrote to have patience because she knows her son. :) My mom wrote to smile and say ‘yes dear.’ Someone else wrote that if I was in trouble I needed to bake some bread. (Wish I would have remembered that) There was a lot of great advice given to me, and it was a sweet moment I had finding this treasure of marriage advice. Which got me to thinking about my current manuscript.
My gal, Nicole has come home for a sabbatical and is helping clean out her mother’s things. (The mother is deceased a couple of years.) As she’s going through boxes I’m having her come across a box similar to the one I found.
The time Nicole’s parents would have married would have been in 1970, 50 years ago. No cell phones, no computers like we have now, no Netflix. No E readers.
But marriages and weddings have been around for a long time.
So I need some help from readers—and writers. I need your best marriage advice! Remember, it would have been written to the bride, Barbara, in 1970. My heroine, Nicole, is going to use these tidbits of advice in the novel. The novel I have titled Their Forever Family. (That title will probably change.)
I got this cool letter board for my birthday last year and it helps keep me motivated.
So, yes! I need your marriage advice. I can’t guarantee I’ll use everyone’s advice in the book, but if I do, your name will be mentioned in the acknowledgment section. I can’t wait to see what awesome words of advice you ladies give.
And a big thank you in advance.
USA Today featured author Lindi Peterson lives in north Georgia, in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, with her husband and a lively array of cats, dogs and birds. She loves sharing life with her family and friends. Her passion for reading led her to writing, and then God spoke words of love into her heart and changed her life forever.
Communication is key!!
Know when to bite your tongue.
Mary—No doubt. Truth right here.
Gina—Love this. And if you don’t bite your tongue–bake some bread. :)
Have dinner on the table when he comes home from work, and take a minute to freshen up and dab on some perfume.
Decide what’s important enough to argue about. If it’s not, let it go. It’s not always important to be right.
Val—I’m such a perfume girl. :) I love this.
Laurie—so true. This is a hard lesson to learn, I think. But so valuable!
My Gramma once told me:
Be ready to go anywhere with him at the drop of a hat. Always be ready and fresh but don’t make him wait for you to do it.
She and Grampa were best friends who fished together and checked in often on a radio. She was Mamma Bear, and he was Papa Bear, as in , “breaker breaker one-nine come in Papa Bear.”
It was adorable.
Whenever you part (going to work, on a trip, getting groceries, even going to sleep) say “I love you”. Happy, sad, angry, it doesn’t matter. Say “I love you,” because you are not guaranteed, in this world, that it won’t be the last time. No regrets!
P.S. We ain’t all ladies, sister! :)
Never go to bed angry with one another. Good advice then and now.
You lose the battle when you have to be right.
I realized after I hit “Post”, that should be “tell each other ‘I love you'”, not just “say”. My wife used to be an EMT. We do this for each other, even after 30+ years. It’s a reminder that whatever else may be going on, our commitment to each other is more important.
Laugh together every chance you get.
Always support your spouse and even if you both are angry with each other do not speak bad about him/her,that’s the person you vowed to love and cherish through good and bad times
Hi Lindi! Hubby and I got married in 1973. One of the best wedding presents was a Christian Cookbook for Newlyweds given to us by our college and career pastor and Sunday School teacher. Lots of great hints about meals for two and entertaining. His words of advice to newlyweds was about the friends one associated with. One couple that are stronger Christians – to help one grow. One couple with many of the same interests and on the same spiritual plain. And one couple to help grow as a couple or spiritually. Hubby was a new Christian and attending seminar, sage advice to live by and served us well over the years. Mom’s advice – do unto others, as you would want others to do unto you. The Golden Rule for marriage, family and out in the world. Lots of good comments. Best wishes.
Pray together, even when you don’t feel like it. Nothing builds intimacy like coming before God together, and remembering a successful marriage has to be built with God as the foundation.
Dalyn—How awesome is this story? I love it. Don’t make him wait…..I do like that. Thank you so much for sharing your grandparents with us.
Lincoln—welcome! And gents will be used in the future. :) This is great advice. The “I love yous” are so important! Always. What a great reminder. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for being an EMT—that’s a job I could never do. I so appreciate the ones who can—and do.
Great advice—and biblical, as well. Thank you for sharing.
Pam–How true! There’s no winner in that situation. Thank you.
Caitlyn—yes–laughter. The best medicine. Thank you!
Angeline—you know, that do not speak bad about him/her—so true. I believe you should have a good friend or friends that you can talk through the tough times with, but never bad mouth your spouse out and about. And also true about cherishing each other through all times. Thank you.
Angeline—you know, that do not speak bad about him/her—so true. I believe you should have a good friend or friends that you can talk through the tough times with, but never bad mouth your spouse out and about. And also true about cherishing each other through all times. Thank you.
Renate—how awesome–the mentoring and being mentored advice. That would be so helpful. And the biblical do unto others—including your spouse. What great advice. Thank you for sharing. And you’ve been married over 40 years. I love that.
Megan—Praying together—solid advice. And it’s true about doing it even when you’re not feeling like it. When the winds blow not so good things our way, having that foundation of prayer is life changing. Thank you.
What a great question! I think my advice (mostly from my own mom) would be that wherever you move to, bloom where you’re planted. I always think it’s so sad when (often the wife) complains about where a couple lives. My mother told me that wherever we moved, to go there like I’m going to live there forever.
Sally—you know, I’ve seen that. What great advice. Especially for military wives, or wives of pastors that get moved a lot. Others, too, I know. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Sally! Great advice and so true. In my life I have moved 20 times – 15 while married. – loved in 2 states and 8 different cities.
Rentate–How awesome–I think of all you’ve seen. That’s amazing. i love your perspective.
Pray on it.
My Husband and I was married in 1973 ! I don’t care where we would be going we would always tell each other to be safe and let each other know we loved the other! And always pray and ask The Lord to watch over us!
Always put God first, as He’s over both of you. His is the strongest chord that holds you together.
To share laughter everyday.
*Keep a sense of humor/perspective. (Some of the awlful things that happen, can be seen as funny if you step back far enough).
*If you are each other’s best friend, as well as spouse, you’ll never be lonely.
*Treasure together the little things that are Free or cheap – sharing a cup coffee watching sunsets/sunrises together, biking together, movie night on the sofa together – 1x week, etc.
I love this idea! I have seen it for baby showers and my advice is always “don’t blink”
I guess for marriage it would be to try and out yourself in the others shoes before making an argument…
Denise–prayer is so important in a marriage. :)
Sarah–Such great advice. Sometimes I feel like we don’t say the “I love yous” often enough.
Trudy—The 3 stranded cord—-what a powerful bond. Thank you for that reminder.
Lucy—-Yes! Laughter is also a way to burn calories—or is that smiling? Anyway, you normally smile to laugh, so….:)
Penelope—-Love these!! Date night/time is paramount! Especially when you have little ones. Keeping perspective as a couple is so important. And yes, the best friend aspect is key as well.
Paula Marie—Strong advice! That’s a short way of saying so much. Wisdom, girl. You have it. And I love the don’t blink for the baby showers.
Understanding that love is a choice not just a feeling and working at your marriage with all of your heart. Also believing that your spouse is the best spouse in the world and telling him or her so on a regular basis. “We Love because He first loved us”
My advice is “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath”. My husband and I refuse to go to bed angry or upset with each other. Sometimes we stay up late talking things through. We try to respect each other and understand each other’s perspectives. Conflicts will undoubtedly arise in a marriage but it’s how we resolve those conflicts that strengthen our bond and enable our relationship to continue to grow. ❤️
I would say to make your time together a priority. Also, always be truthful with one another and never keep secrets.
Don’t keep secrets! Communication is extremely important!
I’m not married but I have seen when a couple doesn’t communicate it is not a great thing. If they would just talk to each other then the argument or disagreement would be solved quickly. Also to always ask if what you thought you hear was correct. A lot of the time not just in marriage but also in relationships period we misinterpret something and get upset for no reason.
Never go to bed angry was advice I received.
Say “I love you” to each other every day–even on days you may not feel it! And pray for your spouse every day!
Natalya—-Yes–love is a choice—an action. :) So beautiful. And also, I write from the perspective that we can love well when we know we’re loved well. :)
Rebekah—So true. There will be conflicts, but communication is key is working things out. What great advice!
Stephanie—Great words. Truthful for sure. And no secrets. I tell my friends if I can’t tell my hubby, don’t tell me. :) Love this.
Yes–that advice can never get old. It’s always true. :)
Christie–This is so true. Communication can solve a lot of problems. I know I’ve grown a lot in that area….I guess I needed to. I no longer think my husband can read my mind. :)
Lori—This is great wisdom. And Biblical. It can make a huge difference.
Tina—Yes—and I love the “even though you may not feel it.” I know some days are more difficult in a marriage. But we still love!+++++
I always yell at the couple in the romance novel who jump to conclusions and don’t talk to each other… example: he sees her with a guy and assumes it is romantic interest when it’s a relative relationship.
Communication is really important
Tabitha—Ha! I love this. Don’t you love talking to people in the books? And great advice for the writers—
Communication!
Always communicate. Prove your trust and loyalty.
We pray together every morning and every night.
Suzannah-I love this advice. :)
Susanne—Such great advice. :) Communication is so important.
Thank you all for commenting such great marriage advice! What fun this was. The book is in progress and is being written for a publishing house, so it may be a while before I have any news on it, but I will keep you posted.
Thank you again!